Confessional

Two Roads …

I’ll tell you a secret: for a little while I’ve been standing at a crossroads. Stuck fast. 

Big, hard-edged life choices have always been difficult for me, with my watery, soft-smudged way of seeing the world, and this season is no exception. The roads are diverging for me, and whichever way I choose has the potential to drastically change my future.

I don’t know, I find myself saying often. 

I don’t know. 

But.

The other day I was scrolling through the photo library of my old IPhone 4S — the one that I used to start this little blog, once upon a time — and I stumbled on this photo:

  
Down on the greenway near Carilion, at a bend where the trail meets the river, there’s a spot where you can stand under the intersection of three bridges: the railroad trestle, the roadway, and the pedestrian bridge. I was always caught by the clean architectural beauty of those crisscrossing lines, and I’ve photographed them many times. 

On the day when I took that picture, though, something was different: a solid beam of the most beautiful gold sun shot between the bridges, making a pathway of light on the water. I snapped picture after picture, transfixed.

And then I went home and promptly forgot about it.

But today, staring at that beam of light, I’m struck by the message I was sending to myself so many moons ago:

There is another road. 

One not made by human hands:

  
That’s the road I’m choosing. ❀

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22 thoughts on “Two Roads …

  1. I like both your images and your prose, Ashley.

    Taking time to contemplate isn’t a bad thing; I find as I age that time has a way of clarifying the decision-making process that my younger self didn’t always appreciate or even recognize.

    Sometimes there are no “good” or “bad” decisions — they just deliver different results that have equally good and bad aspects, even if they have the potential to be drastic in nature.

    I suppose the real crux is whether you would find yourself better off having chosen one way or the other (or even a third way, as you seem to be alluding).

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’ve put this beautifully, Mitch, and I so agree, with all of it. My friends joke that I am allergic to dichotomies, and that’s probably true. I’m always looking for that third way. πŸ™‚

      Thank you for taking the time to comment so thoughtfully here … Appreciate your presence in this space, your wisdom and skill… Grateful. πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My heart is with you as you waver at your crossroads. Your softer way of seeing the world is always such a comfort and a help to me. I struggle with a rigid, black-and-white, all-or-nothing way of seeing the world, and from that sort of vantage point, big decisions are terrifying and paralyzing, because the consequences of making the *wrong* decision are catastrophic (and, of course, all my fault, because I internalize, personalize, and self-blame). “There is another road. One not made by human hands.” Oh, Ashley, that is what I’m clinging to today. Thank you! Sending love, my friend. ❀

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: Two Roads … β€” alpha // whiskey // foxtrot – bluemaddox

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